The dumpster stories I will never write

I’m sure I’ll write a lot of shit stories. But I will never add to the dumpster of these storylines.

This dumpster list is dynamic. I’ll be adding to it.

How I made my first $XYZ on Medium, my first XYZ period on Medium, how I got 100 followers, or some variation of announcing one’s success on Medium. These stories are all over the platform, growing like a weed. Well done but fuck off already. Let me guess: in your article about your success on Medium you put a link to the story that helped you go viral so that you get more reads for that story too; virality upon virality. Pyramid-scheme Medium marketing. Even that aside, you ain’t gonna reveal any eye-opening recipe that hasn’t been shared already. Write consistently, find your niche; catchy titles help. There — I summarized it in just a few words. I haven’t walked the path (it’s difficult no doubt), but I know it.

Here’s another tip on this topic. Let’s say you die. Happens to everyone. Which of your stories on Medium will matter then? No one, no-fucking-one in this world will care about your $2,543 earnings in the month of October; not even your kids will click on your dumpster Medium-success story.

How I left social media and how my life became better. Well done here too and fuck off here too. I recently wrote this sarcastic note on this topic. I…