We need to be excellent at something, or else it can get pretty dark

I love running and write a lot about it. My recent results, like my sub 2.50 marathon, reflect how I strive for excellence in my hobby of running. When I tell people about running, I am anything but shy. I brag. Because I can. Because I’ve achieved excellence in running.

There are other things in my life I’m proud of. Sometimes I show them off, sometimes I’m humble. I’ve been with my wife for over twenty years. We have four kids. Our kids are awesome! My daughter is good at tennis! I was educated at Cambridge and Harvard!

I’ve also failed miserably in my life. A lot. I continue to have a lot of problems and struggles. Actually, I’m not desperate to hide my failures. I write about them too. Like in this story. Or in this.

My achievements in running, at least in my age group, probably approach my Harvard MBA in terms of being exceptional.

My love of running is genuine, but I’m also aware of this: there is definitely an element of compensating for my failures. Being excellent gives me confidence. I’m better at something than my rich neighbor, my classmate, Elon Musk too. It’s my mental health’s fuel. It buys me time to correct my mistakes and maybe achieve excellence in other pursuits.

I am watching my kids grow up. I observe this pattern in them too, even at their young age. As they go through the ups and downs in their coming of age, in their athletic and academic pursuits, they tend to develop…