This was the turning point in my journey of alcohol abstinence

When I reminisce about my life’s most interesting journeys, I often notice that you’re able to see the ‘turning’ points only in hindsight. When you’re living through them, they are fleeting, not turning. They are not forgetful, but you can’t assess their importance at the moment in time.

A date with my girlfriend that would stay especially vivid in my memory, a run that contributed to my habit of running, a drink that would be my last — they were never the moments when I felt enlightened or could foresee the monumental changes in my life.

Now that many months have passed since I last had alcohol, I am able to identify one specific event that played an important role in shaping my new alcohol-free identity.

I stopped drinking around October. It wasn’t a result of a hard commitment to alcohol abstinence. It was the outcome of a gradual process whereby over the course of many months I had reduced drinking and went through several dry stretches but avoided resolutions or rigid goals. I do remember my last beer but it’s not the moment I want to talk about in this story.

I visited my friend in Irvine in late November for a post-Thanksgiving dinner. He’s a Brit. There were a lot of snacks, food, and wine, of course. We’d done this before — get together with families once every few months. Usually, my friend would invite someone. This time, he had his new neighbor and his family come over. The nature of these joyful feasts is such that…