The single most important quality of true love.

Not that I can claim to know all about “true” love, but I’ve experienced love for sure.

I’ve been with my partner for over 20 years. There was passion in our younger years, there is a different kind of love now — not better or worse, but the kind that bears the marks of going through our lives’ incredible intensity, of both the good kind and the less glamorous one — the struggles, the crises, the inevitable occasional fatigue of managing our journey’s many directions and challenges. It’s kind of like going through different seasons. The sunny ones are nice but they too can leave marks on your skin — that of aging!

My parents were together for twenty years but split up and it was ugly. What once seemed a stable union is now ashes. No, not even that. Empty space. No, not totally empty either — it’s filled with molecules of disrespect, even now, decades later.

I’ve seen my relatives go through break-ups and affairs. I’ve seen their children — my relatives too of course — being manipulated and put in the crossfire. Most of the affairs were ugly. Not that some affairs are pretty, but the ones I witnessed were shameless and cruel. For example, they involved years of lying to the one you supposedly love or once loved, while flashing your affair to others.

I saw a story some months ago — I wish I saved it — that offered a very unique perspective on love. It was something like this: love is voluntarily exposing your deepest vulnerabilities to the one who can hurt…