The red flag in people which I consider a true red flag

I had an incident today in one of my projects where I misstepped and the guy who hired me fired me. I had delivered and would continue to deliver the work but was being ‘high maintenance’ discussing my compensation. I wasn’t even negotiating but messaged unnecessarily about some tactical nuances related to my invoices.

“OMG, I don’t believe it”, the guy messaged me. “Forget it. Stop the work. This is not going to work.”

I was wrong because I had already discovered from a couple of earlier situations that my boss can be easily triggered so I should’ve been extra careful with my questions or messages.

Anyway, the reason I mention this episode is not because I want to criticize the particular person I was consulting or portray myself as innocent. It reminded me of a certain trait in some people that I consider a deadly sin. “Deadly sin” is an over-the-top expression but it conveys the profound nature of the shortcoming I want to discuss.

Here’s another example from my professional life. Last year, I was discussing a new business venture with a potential partner. We had only recently met, but we hit it off well due to our shared enthusiasm for the idea and some common interests. As our discussions progressed, disagreements arose regarding the vision. While the debates remained amicable, I couldn’t help but notice a shift in his demeanor — a subtle rolling of the eyes and a facial expression hinted at a different personality from the one I had come to know. Then, when it came to discussing the split of ownership my supposed partner exploded, slamming the table and explaining how he’d had enough.

I’m experienced and have encountered many moments of tension in my career, business endeavors, and family life, but I was stunned — I suddenly saw a psychopathic alter-ego in my partner-to-be. There was a meltdown and a degree of anger that went beyond the expression ‘the heat of the moment.’ And we weren’t even doing any real business yet. Imagine facing a real storm — and storms are inevitable — with someone who so easily goes berserk or threatens to abandon the ship.

Over the years, there were other similar episodes involving both men and women. They were very nice people until they weren’t. In an instant, they turned into highly malevolent characters, either threatening to walk out or actually doing so.