The only threat to my sanity, to my marriage

Or maybe it’s the opposite. A blessing. Maybe it’s what keeps me sane. Maybe it’s what keeps me so strongly attached to my wife.

Or maybe not.

The other night I was flying from Florida to California. My changeover was in Phoenix. The flight from Phoenix was delayed. Then it was canceled already after we boarded. There was some problem with the plane. American Airlines arranged a stay at a local hotel.

When I arrived at the hotel there was a line of people. I guessed they were all from my flight. Of course, they were. They were all chatting and laughing. They were tired and frustrated but they seemed in high spirits. Strangers. Chatting to each other. Laughing. Making jokes. They’d never see each other again but for ten-fifteen minutes they were like friends. Someone tried to get me to join the cheerful chit-chat.

I smiled politely and sat down, staring at my phone. There was nothing interesting on my phone. I just wanted to be alone. All that small talk, all that laughter — not my thing. My fellow passengers — they weren’t really my fellow passengers. In fact, I sensed that all that chitter-chatter was cheap and borderline vulgar. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was all good-natured (it was!)

Leave me alone.

I’m so happy on my own.

As I look back at nearly three decades of my life — teen years and adulthood, I know clearly — I was never in my element whenever there was some social…