Most relationship advice is flawed because of this

Last night my wife and I celebrated 19 years since our wedding. “Celebrated” is an overstatement — it was a low-key dinner at a pizza restaurant. Our three kids were with us. The oldest one stayed at home. He often does, as you’d expect from a teenager who wants privacy.

Before we got married, we’d been together for three years. So in the summer of 2022, we will have been together for 23 years.

Of course, as a family, we’ve been through many struggles and storms, but we’re one and on the grand scale of things our journey together has been easy.

So at this point, I should have some wisdom, some relationship advice, shouldn’t I?

Well, I don’t.

Most relationship blogs look at long-lasting relationships post-factum or de-facto. They draw common-sense conclusions but they never discuss the most important thing of all — the origin, the beginning. It’s like with the Big Bang theory. The story of the universe makes sense until you try to comprehend the very starting point.

To me, that origin is the biggest mystery and the overriding factor in how your journey evolves.

When we met, we “fit”. It was fundamentally easy to be together. It was easy then, it’s easy now. There was chemistry. There was no hard work whatsoever in having an easy relationship. It was luck. Grace.

The rest was the consequence.