About me

160 characters to describe my profile? Seriously, Medium?

When I went to the bathroom this morning to take a shit, the toilet paper was running low and I had to use smaller pieces which made it inconvenient to wipe my ass.

The statement above is more than 160 characters. See below — Medium wouldn’t let me write it in full.

How the hell then am I supposed to introduce myself and summarize my numerous achievements to my potential 100K followers?

So I like the Medium platform and recently started writing. But I need to communicate my greatness not only through my writing but by describing my absolutely exceptional life. The momentum is already building:

Facebook and LinkedIn are clearly more caring institutions. You can have an awful stretch in your life, relationship, or work, and an overdrawn bank account, but your stunning profile is always there to protect you. Check out mine:

You can see that I’m married — so not a lonely loser. You can see that I went to Cambridge…