Is “where are you from” a rude question?

This morning I got asked to help pick someone up from the airport. It was a parent and her two teenage daughters. It’s related to my kids’ tennis; the exact context doesn’t matter. As I started driving away from the airport, I initiated the usual exchange of introductions. I had no idea where the family had just come from.

“Where did you just come from?”

“Montreal”

“Is that where you live, Canada?”

“Yes”.

That single reply — “Monreal” — was said with a heavy accent so I knew immediately there “weren’t” from Montreal. I mean of course, they were from Montreal, but they weren’t. They were immigrants. So I asked the question that I myself got asked so many times, year after year, decade after decade.

“Where are you from?”

“Georgia. But I’m also Armenian.”

I mentioned that I’m Russian. Usually, if you meet someone from the ex-Soviet block, you’d readily share that you too come from that block. After all, it used to be one country.

There was some more small talk during our ride but it was mostly quiet. I was reflecting on whether it was correct of me to ask “where are you from” so early into the acquaintance.

I don’t think I was rude but I’ve often felt there is something sensitive about this question, especially when it gets asked too soon. Maybe it’s because I’m an immigrant, so I’ve always been extra conscious of…