Is it Okay to lie sometimes? A debate with my friends

I have a chat group with my four close friends, and the topic of lying came up recently. The debate was triggered by a video featuring a young Russian official saying something about controlling or not controlling mainstream tech services, like YouTube or one of the big messaging systems. My friend commented, “So young and already such a liar. Where did you learn?” I contradicted — what if the guy in the video truly believed in what he was saying? We didn’t argue but proceeded to discuss the topic of lying more generally. My friend said, “If you lie to someone, you lie to yourself — it’s the universal truth.” I argued again. I lied in the past to others, but I knew I was lying, so I was honest with myself. It’s possible to lie to others but be honest with yourself.

The debate then escalated. We discussed the so-called white lies, which I defended. My friend insisted that it’s never-ever right to lie. A white lie is just a lie, period. It’s not justified.

My other friend sided with me. Expectedly, he came up with extreme cases. Do you tell a terminally ill child that death is inescapable? Or if someone points a gun at your family during an interrogation, will you still be honest?

I brought a real example from my life. My mother went through extreme, near-suicidal anguish when my father left her after twenty years of marriage. For many months, to calm her, I supported her in discussing the possibility of my father returning, while I knew he wouldn’t. I didn’t tell her he…