I’m having an affair and I’m seeing my mistress every day.

When I come home from our dates, I’m already thinking about the next time we meet. I’d see my wife serve dinner, I’d call our kids from their rooms to join us, but part of my mind would be elsewhere— relieving the happiness just experienced, anticipating tomorrow’s date.

The affair started many years ago. Its fire could’ve become weaker but it’s grown stronger instead. It’s now burning now stronger than ever.

Do I feel guilty about my affair? Yes, a little, sometimes. But we only live once. The passion is too strong.

The memories of our dates on my smartphone. I look at them often. They are not in the photo gallery but a special app, that my wife doesn’t know much about.

There are very rare days when we don’t get to see each other. The pain of separation is especially acute then, the anticipation of us re-uniting is a pleasure in itself.

My mistress and I think about our future all time. We plan our upcoming days and weeks and we also think about our future — our goals, targets, and commitments. We’ve planned a few specific events for the coming year. I’m yet to figure out how I will manage these retreats and how I will “coordinate” with my family.

On some days we have to see each other very early when the world’s not yet awake. I prepare in advance. I’m a man so I don’t have to worry about my dress and make-up. Still, I prepare. The night before my date, I check carefully every single…