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I gave up alcohol. My wife followed and (but) it was never a big deal.
After many years of enjoying 2–3 drinks every evening, I stopped drinking in the fall of 2023. I wrote several times here on Medium about the experience, emphasizing how it was a gradual process, devoid of drama and big resolutions. It didn’t happen overnight but rather over the span of about a year. I experimented with dry stretches without pressuring myself into abstinence. Abstinence was the outcome, not the goal.
Considering that the habit of evening drinks was decades long and a strong one, I could’ve made the abstinence journey more dramatic, but I didn’t, and it was the key to success.
The reason I don’t see myself ever touching alcohol is because I’ve come to appreciate the unabating clarity of mind. My mood may change through good days or when I have struggles, but my sense of self-awareness stays unclouded. There is a profound sense of peace and calm in knowing and feeling how my consciousness cannot be subjected to any turbulence.
Drinking in the evening was a habit and maybe even a lifestyle — on most nights my wife would have a couple of glasses of wine just like I did. We’d often enjoy beer too, especially during the warm season.
I never imposed my new habit of not drinking on my wife. She continued to have wine on some nights.
And then she stopped…
For months now I’ve not seen her with a glass of wine. She still likes ordering a cocktail — say a margarita — on the rare nights when we go out, but the alcohol is completely gone from our home.
It almost feels a little strange. Not once did I suggest that she follow me in my new lifestyle. Not once did I brag about my abstinence. It’s not in my nature to give advice. Even here on Medium as I documented my journey, I avoided sounding patronizing or fanatical about my abstinence journey. It annoys me how many authors talk about non-drinking in a condescending way.
To each his own. If you enjoy a drink or two — absolutely keep enjoying. I enjoyed alcohol for decades and I have no regrets. Now is a different season of life. I’m enjoying it for sure but it’s not worse or better than other seasons. I’m not a better person because I gave up alcohol.
I’m surprised that my wife followed me, and I take credit not for giving up drinking but for not being fanatical about this giving up and not imposing my lifestyle on anyone else, even on a close person.
To each their own!
I write on Substack:
