Hyper-awareness of the entirety of humanity

The other night I went to see Gladiator 2 with my almost thirteen year old son. I half-ass watched at the beginning, using the time to write a story on Substack, but eventually found the movie entertaining. It motivated me — while I was still watching — to look up on Wikipedia the two emperors (brothers) featured in it. One was murdered and there were other mentions of violence and killings. The movie is fictional of course, but walking out of the cinema I was thinking this: the history of humanity is one long story of violence and suffering.

The next two days were filled with many trivial episodes typical for my large family — I left my parents and my son and flew from North Carolina to Florida where part of my family currently is, including my other two kids. I also talked and texted with my oldest son who’s now in college. I avoided a confrontation with my mother-in-law (she’s very annoying). My wife and I discussed the many challenges we are dealing with. We made love too.

Fortunately, there is no “violence” in my interactions in my family, no dramas that will make it to history books or future movies. Still, there is intensity of life that often overwhelms, inspires, and tires. Joys, struggles, anxieties, dreams, aspirations, energy, fatigue, disappointments, laughter, tears, love, anger. Every life is like a universe. And that’s just my family! There are billions of people — and every life is a universe. And billions lived and died.