How I deal with FOPO

This summer, I’ve been working as an assistant running coach at a high school in Irvine, CA. Every Tuesday, after running, a mental performance coach presents to the kids. This week, she spoke about confidence and then wrote “FOPO” on the board, asking if anyone knew what the abbreviation meant. There was laughter as the boys suggested interpretations like “Fear of Passing Out” or “Fear of Pooping Out.”

I myself had never seen “FOPO” before. Most people are familiar with FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), but FOPO?

FOPO stands for Fear of Other People’s Opinions, it turned out, so we discussed this topic.

The head coach mentioned that his way of dealing with FOPO is to remember that your close people will still love you, even if you fail.

The kids were split into groups and asked to discuss ways of dealing with FOPO.

I happen to have a very simple and precise method of dealing with FOPO, but it was too awkward to share with school kids, so I only shared it with the fellow coaches while the kids were having their discussion.

I think of death — either being on my deathbed or having died. “Will this matter on my deathbed?” I ask myself when I start feeling too vulnerable or worry too much about other people’s opinions.

Thinking of death is a surprisingly powerful confidence booster and a general self-improvement tactic. Like I said, it would have been too awkward to bring up the idea of death in a setting full of joyful kids.