How do you manage? I don’t

In the summer of 2013, a few weeks before I left Russia, I spent the weekend with my closest friend. At that time, I already had four kids, and my friend had three. Or maybe he also had four. I forget. He has four now. The point is that there were a lot of babies between our two families. I found this photo from that weekend (not the best quality, but you get the idea):

So my other close friend asked my friend’s wife (she’s the one holding the smallest baby): how do you manage all of this? He meant it as a compliment. Maybe it was a rhetorical question.

My friend’s wife replied, “I don’t”. I’m translating from Russian. Maybe the word “cope” is a better translation.

How do you cope?

The answer was I don’t, as in I’m not coping well (or at all).

It was such a simple, raw, and humble reply. Humble but also unapologetic.

That short conversation got stuck in our memory, and we recently remembered it in our messaging chat.

Today, I asked my Substack readers to fill out a brief survey. I want to improve my blog. The last question was open-ended — I asked to leave comments or feedback.

The answers were very complimentary. It warmed my heart, of course, to read these warm words. But I also felt like an imposter. A liar even.