How do men have kids with different women?

Alexei Sorokin
3 min readNov 29, 2022

I mean I know how they do… I am aware of the mechanics of it…

Every now and then I write stories that I define as intimate. Sensitive too. I guess this is one of them.

Today on Facebook a male connection posted a picture of his newborn baby. We’re not close friends so I don’t know the details of his personal life. I know however that he has two kids from his marriage. His ex-wife is one of my connections on Facebook (similarly, I don’t know her well). I have no idea how their first relationship ended. Amicable? Ugly? Who’s taking care of the kids? Are ex-spouses communicating? I have no idea.

That the birth of a child for my acquaintance is a huge life event I don’t doubt. I have four kids! I know!

But every time I see this situation — a man having a child in a new relationship, I can’t help wondering and digging into my heart, my soul, my life.

And I have other examples. My own father! My parents divorced after twenty years of marriage. My step-sister is almost … Damn I can’t even remember how old she is. Twenty-something. My uncle two. He now has two kids from his second relationship.

I’m not judging. I am not! I’m not virtue signaling either.

But I just can’t imagine…

My four kids, OUR four kids — they are the very essence, the soul, the outcome, the reflection, the testament, the fruits, the spirit of the incredible love my wife and I have experienced. I’m committed to my kids and their life journeys unconditionally. There is so much work, done already and so much ahead. I’m both succeeding and failing. Failing too often not because of some external circumstances, but because I’m not perfect, because I don’t work hard enough, and because I make mistakes. And I love my kids unconditionally. Among other things, I love my kids because I love their mother, the young girl I once fell in love with love and the woman I continue to love. And respect.

I’m committed.

My wife and I have been together for almost twenty-five years. Our union is not cloudless. When you’re together for almost twenty-five years, you go through every type of weather. You go through storms. Love changes its shapes and colors. There are moments when you fear that love no longer is.

But I’m so committed to my wife and to our kids.

Alexei Sorokin

A Russian immigrant in America, father of 4, Cambridge and Harvard Business School alum. I run and write every day. More here: