Florida is even worse than Texas

I’m trolling a bit, all right. I feel bad about offending my readers who call these two states their home.

But, look, Texas is better than Florida.

That’s what I told my wife, this weekend.

I arrived from California on Friday and have been behaving like an immature spoiled brat ever since, whining about Florida every waking hour.

The weather sucks, no matter the season. Better than snow I guess, but it’s still humid. Or rainy.

It’s fucking ugly. Flat and swampy but it’s ugly because of other reasons too. There are some modern developments here and there but then there are all these ugly-looking outdated shopping plazas. Of course, there are outdated shopping plazas in other states but when I go for my runs in Florida, I pass too many of them.

It’s our twins’ birthday this week. They are turning eleven, so they are having a couple of outings here and there. My son invited his friends to this amusement park in Boca Raton. I won’t mention the name of the place to avoid going too far with my whining. It’s like a bigger version of Chuck E. Cheese. I guess the kids had fun. The kids always have fun. But, man, did I find this place drab. And when I was stepping out, I smelled cigarettes. I often smell cigarettes in Florida I noticed.

Yesterday at one of the traffic lights, in the car in front of us someone threw out a plate with leftover food.

In the evening we visited our friends in Miami. On our way back there was a terrible crash on I-95. The police cars and various emergency vehicles counted in dozens. I feel like whenever I’m in Florida I encounter more ugly car crashes than anywhere else.

Of course, these are all anecdotal episodes. They can happen anywhere. Yet they seem more frequent in Florida. Or maybe I notice them more because I don’t like Florida.

“Even Texas was better”, I told my wife.

We had a short stretch in Dallas. We didn’t like it but Texas was way better, as I think of it now. Dallas, Houston, Austin, San Antonio — like them or not, these are unique, vast, authentic places, each a world of its own. With history, and with character.

There is nothing authentic about Florida. It has no spirit. No character. Drab. Maybe Miami is vibrant. It has beaches too. But I don’t care. I don’t like Florida.

This is how I feel about Florida.

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