Anesthesia Was a Pleasant Experience and Reminded Me How Silly Afterlife Beliefs Are

I had my first-ever surgery today (nothing serious, but surgery nonetheless). I thought I wasn’t nervous until I was — I got really tense as they started preparing me for the operation and inserted the IV.

I wasn’t afraid of the surgery or the pain. It was the mystery of being put to sleep that filled me with anxiety. What if I don’t wake up? What if I had just seen my family for the final time?

The night before, I googled anesthesia. The chances of dying are one in 100,000. But I had never had it before. What if I have some kind of allergy or something unusual in my cardiac system?

The last thing I remember is an oxygen mask being placed over my nose. I was then ready for the anesthesia to be initiated through the IV in my hand. I knew it’d be fast, but I thought I’d experience the feeling of falling asleep, even if only for a few seconds.

The next thing I remember is someone saying, “You’re done,” and I headed home soon after. I woke up with a clear head. No dizziness, no confusion.

So, there was no experience of falling asleep. It was lights off in an instant — faster than an instant. There wasn’t an “-ing” to anything — no action of any kind. No adjective, verb, or noun can describe the experience. There was no experience. The transition from being conscious to absolute nothingness was like some kind of singularity. It was the Big Bang in reverse. From everything…