A self-improvement experiment: I’m removing all apologetic language from my communication.

My kids and my wife are a separate story: I will always apologize to my family if I’m wrong.

A few weeks ago, I was chasing someone who owed our family something. “Owe” is a misleading word because we were getting a favor. Kind of a favor. The details don’t matter for this story. To draw an analogy, let’s say someone agreed to invest in our business. In this particular situation, my wife and I coordinate our communication. I showed her my “apologies for checking in” draft, and she told me “Why are you apologizing?”. They said they would do it, but they are delaying; no need to apologize.

She was right! I’m supposed to be the business-savvy individual in our family, but in light of this incident, I realize that my apologetic style is a recurring theme, and I wonder, in hindsight, if it’s harmed me. It probably didn’t harm me directly. Being nice is rarely a lethal mistake. But in the competitive world of business, where behind every conversation, there is a covert or looming negotiation, you’re probably revealing you’re weak when you’re apologizing.

There are reasons for my style. It was acquired — a few failed entrepreneurial efforts — made me timider.

In an ideal world, in connection with this new strategy, I should reduce the actual instances of doing something for which I should apologize. Being late for a call or meeting is a perfect example. You join a zoom call five minutes…