Almost a quarter of a century into adulthood, I’m realizing I was never ready for it.

I guess I must have appeared “mature” in my early twenties. I was a nerd in my teen years but then the nerdiness paid off — Cambridge and I started my career in investment banking. Somewhere in between (well actually, just after school, before Cambridge), I met my girlfriend. I was nineteen, she — fifteen… From nerdiness to crazy love…

At just twenty-four I was making over a hundred fifty thousand dollars a year. My Morgan Stanley Amex card paid for my evening dinners, whether work-related or not.

One night I came home and told my wife — let’s have a kid. So we made love… We made a kid.

Then I thought — Cambridge, Morgan Stanley, no, not enough. Why don’t I apply to Harvard Business School? So I did and I got in.

During my MBA we had our second kid.

Then a few years later I decided to become an entrepreneur. Surely, I thought, by my mid-thirties I’d be a millionaire.

So we had more kids. Twins happened! Four kids in total. By the age of thirty-two, I had four kids. I also had Cambridge, Harvard, Morgan Stanley, and entrepreneurship behind me. The latter wasn’t going well, but, hey, they say it’s great to fail!

Then a lot of things happened and didn't happen.

Here I am now at four two, my head fucking exploding.